A Pilgrim’s CONgress


(As opposed to A Pilgrim’s PROgress…by John Bunyan)

In an egg-shaped office, within the boundaries of our nations capitol, New Moscow, sits Narcissist, our president and father of Tyrannous, Ignoramus, Defiance and Petulance.  He is surrounded by Unctuous, Hypocracy and Sycophants, the mothers of all who profess allegiance to Narcissist.


“What can I do for you today that would please you to no end,” begged Unctuous, wringing her hands while mopping the sweat from her brow with a beach towel.

“Fear not Unctuous,” interrupted Hypocricy, “We will speak to those who challenge Narcissist and confront their concerns with alternative facts, insisting that truth isn’t truth, which I doubt has crossed their minds.”

“That is so majorly major,” cheered Sycophant, “Narcissist speaks a new truth that is music to my ears and completes me.  Totally.”


All the while Tyrannous was busy making a mockery of our military ordering them to battle imaginary foes in non-threatening places, defending his actions with a shrug and parroting Narcissist’s favorite proclamation, “I’m the President and you’re not.”

Ignoramus couldn’t sit still, murmuring to himself, “I alone can fix everything.”

“Don’t bother yourself Ignoramus with problems beyond your control,” blustered Defiance, “I will order my Justice Department to prosecute anyone and everyone who dares to challenge me and my efforts to exercise supreme rule; moreover I will order my Senate to award me the presidency for life.”

Narcissist, our most productive president, deserves to be rewarded. Now!”, insists Petulance.

“Building the Wall and carving his visage at Mt. Rushmore should begin today.  I mean, TODAY!!”

Our Pilgrim’s PRO-gress has been reversed.  We’re on a opposing path of CON-gress and our ship is headed for Abyss.

We must change course.  NOW!!

We must steer our prow back toward our Motherland, Democracy.

We rejoice in anticipation of being reunited with our brothers,  Liberty, Equality and Justice and our sisters, Hope, Charity and Compassion.