The American Patriot Party

America will soon welcome its third political party:  The Patriot Party.

It’s mission will be to destroy the two traditional parties using disruption, chaos and violence as tactical weapons of expression. It’s members will be immune to political platforms and doctrines and respond only to the dictates of their founder and leader, Donald J. Trump.

“Patriots” see their Party as the resurrection of the eighteenth century mandate of insurrection; the embodiment of rebellion against a government that’s deaf to their plaints and blind to their plight. Early reports claim they will use a logo displaying both an image of the American flag as well as some form of a deadly weapon. Lee Greenwood’s, “God Bless the U.S.A.,” will serve as their Party’s anthem.

Mindful of the Party’s mission and temperament of its members, founder and perpetual leader, Donald J. Trump, will assume the role of War Lord.
When he declares, “What have you got to lose,” patriots are energized, suddenly filled with fanatical purpose and unwittingly begin chanting, “Lock her up, lock her up.”

The Patriot Party will host an endless number of rallies. Attendees are encouraged to bear arms and instructed to congregate in areas cordoned off with police crime tape.  When asked about the large number of planned rallies, they answer in one voice, “It’s great to have something else to do than community service.”

The American Patriot Party.  Coming to a neighborhood near you.

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